Long distance relationship Wahala: Zero intimacy is making me contemplate a breakup

My partner recently travelled across the world for her master’s degree for the next 2 years. We went from living together to living several thousands of miles and 6 time zones apart.

She has been there for 2 months now. In short, it has been really difficult. I have a pretty intensive job that keeps me working around the clock for days at a time some weeks, and by the time I do get off, she’s normally heading to bed.

I do get up early in the morning to call, but generally, it is difficult to align a time that works with my work and her school schedule.

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We’ve been together for almost 2 years. We started off as long-distance, but only a few hundred miles apart, not a thousand, and the time difference was not an issue.

Recently there’s been a fairly significant lack of intimacy between us. It’s been affecting how both of us feel and we’ve even referenced what it would be like to break up. I feel emotionally exhausted.

I was so madly in love with her before she left, and it is so frustrating to me that I haven’t been able to maintain that. I don’t feel like I’m doing the right things to keep us going but I don’t know what I should be doing in the first place. I don’t want our relationship to feel like a chore and I worry it has started to feel that way for both of us.

I’m supposed to go visit in a month and stay for 3-4 weeks.

Distance is confusing and hard. Any advice from your audience would be deeply appreciated

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Liftispter Replies

That’s the downside to a distance relationship but if you manage to work through it with your partner then you’ll both be stronger.

It’s not easy but being in a distance relationship requires one or both partners to be creative and also open to try new things.

Expressing intimacy over phone is another work on it own.

Have a heart to heart conversation with them expressing how you feel. Discuss an open relationship but only as a last result when everything has failed. Once again get creative.

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