The decision to share every information about you at the start of a new relationship can be a very tricky one. Some schools of thought believe that it is wise to be as open and transparent as possible while others differ because there are some things you should keep to yourself when you start a new relationship.
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List of Things you should keep to yourself when you start a new relationship
Table of Contents
1. Your sexual History
This information isn’t necessary even if your new lover insists on knowing. It doesn’t increase your love for each other nor does it enhance the bond between you. It is completely okay to lie about it to your partner because it would be a lie that cannot be verified, but be smart enough to believe that lie and be consistent in case they bring it up again.
You may think it makes you appear cool and experienced in the bedroom when you share such information but it only does worse and could alter the perception your partner has about you.
The only thing sharing such information achieves is giving your new partner the room to have a degraded perception of you.
Your body count is completely useless information.
2. Happy moments you shared with an ex
If your ex were any better than your current partner, why aren’t you with them? It is normal to talk about your ex in a relationship but it’s not something I would recommend. Talking about them too much can also be a bore.
If you overly stress on the happy moments you had with your ex you could indirectly impose an unrealistic expectation on your current as to how they should behave. Subconsciously they’ll try to match up to being able to offer something similar or close to the positive experiences with your ex.
For example, blabbering about how your ex used to surprise you with gifts and unexpected trips to a partner who is barely managing could put some pressure on them. Unless you want them to feel super insecure, you can shower praises on your ex.
3. You shouldn’t share the past you aren’t proud of.
We all have a past that we might not be proud of. Our dirty past should only exist in our minds to serve as a reminder to do better. You are not meant to go about sharing it with your new lover in the name of opening up and being transparent.
Unless you are only sharing it to advise or the situation demands it, these are some of the things you should keep to yourself when you start a new relationship.
There is the fear of your partner finding out about such a past and probably freaking out but the partner who understands you and is meant for you will stay. It isn’t normal for people to just share their past which they aren’t proud of.
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4. Don’t compare your standards then and now.
One mistake you should never make in a new relationship is to make your partner feel like you are only with them or accept them because you lowered your standards for them. This is the number one thing you should keep to yourself when you start a new relationship.
It doesn’t matter if you previously dated presidents or heads of state. if you end up being with someone who hasn’t achieved those feats you shouldn’t rub it in their face that you dated big men or women.
Firstly your new partner will feel he or she is being compared to everyone else that you ever dated. Secondly, the feeling of having to fill a big shoe can be overwhelming.
This is also one of the things you should keep to yourself when you start a new relationship because it wouldn’t do you any good.
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